Last week I asked a question and asked everyone to write out an idea of their ideal life without limits or fear! What would you do? Where would you go? Who would your circle of friends be? I’m not talking about the money or tangible things you would have, I am referring to who would you be! If you didn’t answer that question or weren’t here for that, then I want you to think about that now.
What would be required for you to be able to be that person? Would you have to walk away from some people? Try new things? Learn to say no? Learn to say yes? What is stopping you from that life?
Did you say fear? If you did, you are right. However it is deeper than that, more specific. The thing that stops us from going after those things and making those changes has a name, and no I’m not necessarily referring to the enemy here. I am referring to your protective personality!
Let’s chat about It? (Insert intro Video)
You were right when you said fear to the answer of that question. Protective personalities are all centered around fear, but our limbic system spins it as a form of protection. We are led to believe that if we follow through with the things needed to find freedom or healing, we have to do things that will 100% lead us to more pain, rejection, feeling alone or less than, etc.
Another word to describe protective personalities is control. Fear and control go hand in hand if we don’t choose to overcome it. It is easier for us to know when to expect pain than it is to walk into something and be blindsided by it. This is why a lot of people stay in toxic relationships.
As children these protective personalities present themselves as good. They bring us comfort and we learn to trust them. But as we age, we realize we want more. We see others finding peace and joy and we seek those things but have no idea how to go about them because these lies we hear in our mind and have learned to trust, aka our gut, tells us that its not safe and we shouldn’t try. This then leaves us living in a state of depression, idolization, insecurity, isolation, etc.
WE. WERE. NOT. DESIGNED. TO. LIVE. THIS. WAY!
Your gut, limbic system, intuition, protective personality, or whatever you want to call it, should NEVER be what we lean into to make decisions. Maybe you heard that and you said, “but my intuition is always right”. NOPE. Red flag! Always is an all inclusive statement which if we remember from Episode 1 of Series 1, is our sign that we are in an unhealthy place in our mind. If you are ALWAYS finding yourself in the same spot 100% of the time, then one of two things is happening. You are either putting yourself in the same unhealthy environments OR you have way too high of expectations of people. Both options have you living in an unhealthy headspace and allowing your “gut” or “intuition” to control you and reinforce the same outcome.
So, what do we do to take back the control and allow ourselves to walk into new outcomes and experiences? Yup, you guessed it, AWARENESS.
The first things we want to be aware of are mentioned above and in previous episodes. Then, we need to come into a place of agreement with it. You have to recognize that your mind, heart, gut, intuition, etc. CANNOT be what we rely on. Until you get to a place where God is leading you and you can recognize the voice that you are hearing in your mind, it is safe to say that you are more than likely listening to fear. You’ll know when it’s God when you are feeling nudged to do something that feels unfamiliar. It will feel hard but it will feel right. It will feel scary, but if you look past the fear you will feel peace.
The next thing you have to be aware of is who is your protective personality, understand why it’s there, you can even thank it for trying to keep you safe, but then you tell it to leave. You no longer need it. You are now accessing the tools to walk into new experiences and know you aren’t alone. And you understand that people will not be able to always meet your needs and that doesn’t mean you are bad. You understand that God has a plan for you, even if you don’t know what it is yet.
But how do you know who your protective personality is?
There is an exercise in the Genesis process that I have mentioned the past and am certified to teach. I would like to walk you through it. It gives a list of names of different protective personalities and an exercise to ask it to leave. But because of time I am going to save that for next week! I want really make sure that this can be done successfully, virtually. So for now, what I want you to get from this episode is similar to the past few and I just want you to start really listening to who is talking to you. A journal will help here. But I want you to be able to separate the lies from the truth. I want you to be able to know when fear is talking to you or when God is nudging you or loving on you. But to do this you HAVE to get in a position of surrender. Journaling will help with this tremendously. Take into account the thoughts you have daily, about yourself or others. What situations did you face, where you wanted to say something or do something but didn’t. And write down why you did or didn’t do those things. And then evaluate if your reasons you just wrote down feel familiar to reasons why you did or didn’t do something in the past. What was the goal of those thoughts you had or reasons for your actions?
Being able to see and understand why we think the way we do is so fundamental for our healing journey. This will feel hard at times and sometimes you will feel resistance. But remember your why. Remember the unhealthy cycle you’ve been living in. Remember the freedom and peace you are walking towards, AND KEEP GOING. Take breaks if you need to but always come back to it!
Next week will feel deep for most. But it is a very freeing exercise! Make sure to bring your journals and that you are listening while in safe space! In the mean time, if you need anything be sure to find me on my socials! And I hope you have the best week ever!