Welcome back!
Not being heard is something that a lot of us struggle with, whether we admit it or not. Sometimes not being heard can feel embarrassing, make you feel disrespected, or make you feel unimportant, etc. And a lot of time it is the root of many different coping mechanisms. As kids a lot of the time we were made to feel like we were wrong or annoying whenever we tried to speak up. If we questioned things, we got scolded or were told “because I said so.” We may have even started believing that in order to be heard, we had to say things that someone else wanted us to say, rather than what we wanted to say. So, then we grow up as adults and become very triggered when we don’t feel heard. But then a lot of the times, we end up doing the same things to our children, which is another topic I’m very passionate about but will dive more into at another time.
Why am I bringing this up? We just went over lowering our guard and the expectations we put on others, so why are we talking about being heard now? I had that same question when it was put on my heart to share. I had planned on diving more into healing from our wounds and how to process them, which we will still do, but then I realized what God was doing. There are tworeasons we are going over this topic first.
- This is actually a BIG wound for others and the root of a lot of different coping mechanisms. Once you have made that choice to walk into vulnerability and out of protection mode, It’s good to be able to recognize which wounds you relate to. So, if you find yourself feeling negative feelings about yourself, and remember you HAVE TO BE HONEST, then this may be a wound you need to process.
Think about the last time you felt ignored. Where were you? Who did you feel ignored by? How did you respond? Did you get angry? Did you shut down or isolate? Did you get awkward and try and make fun of the situation? Why did you act this way? Did you feel silly? Did you feel like you were going to be judged? Or that you weren’t valued? Did you feel disrespected? Name the feeling and the belief that that feeling came from and write it down! What we are doing is taking this back to the very first blog, and we are identifying the red flags of a wound. Later we will take the time to process and work on healing from this wound but, as you’ve heard me say a million times now, awareness gives us the power to respond vs react.
Maybe you’ve been unaware that this was a wound for you. Maybe you ignored the depth of how this wound was affecting you. And now that you’ve been honest with yourself and worked on lowering your guard, you understand that this has had an effect on you. So now, you are going to release the control that wound has over you. The ability to heal from this just from having the awareness depends on the severity of the wound or belief and the other wounds that came with it! If it isn’t a severe wound, you may be able to experience healing by simply saying, “I see the wound and understand that the belief behind it is a lie,” and start choosing to believe the opposite. But for some it won’t be that simple. For some, the beliefs that grew from that wound have become strongholds and will require deeper healing. And if that’s you, I promise that is coming soon, so, be sure you’re following along. You may struggle to believe the opposite of those lies right now but you can at least recognize that those feelings stem from a wound and take the actions to no longer live in the coping behaviors that came from them. The belief may not line up with the truth, but your actions still can become controlled because of that awareness.
I believe that calling the lies out of this wound and bringing the awareness to the surface of your mind is one reason this topic was put on my heart. But I know for sure that there is another reason. In each blog of this new series I have been feeling led to speak to wounded Christians and those struggling to believe or have hope. God is desiring to go deeper with you but He has been showing me that for a lot of people, christians or not, the faith is dwindling because of fear and strongholds (old wounds). This world is scary and it can make it hard to hear anything other than the lies and chaos of this world. So, I felt led to also speak to those who have been struggling to hear from God.
- Something I have heard several times just in the last week is, “I pray and I ask for answers but I don’t hear anything.” So, I want to touch on some reasons why this might be the case, and why some of it may have to do with old wounds.
I’ve said this before, but the ability to hear truth whether it’s from God or anyone for that matter, you have to be open to it. You have to lower that guard and not be resistant to it. And typically when we pray we are asking for very specific things and are looking for very specific answers. Sometimes we will hear answers but usually we don’t. I believe this is on purpose sometimes. I know for me, when I don’t hear anything I keep searching. However, a lot of times I don’t think that He isn’t saying anything, I think it’s that we aren’t opening ourselves to hear from Him. Like I stated, that could be because we are living in that protection mode, but other times this could be because of where our mind/ heart is at! Sometimes we think we are praying and listening but in reality we are just praying. When we are focused on a million different things, we tend to not spend a lot of time going deep with God. We tend to keep it pretty surface level. But the way God works, is He is always wanting to take us deeper. He is always wanting us to grow and transform into who He called us to be. So, we have to be open to that.
Another reason I don’t think we always hear from God is because we spend too much time talking. For me, when I hear from Him it’s in the middle of talking. He is CONSTANTLY interrupting me. And when it happens it is SOOO quick. Sometimes I’ll get loud, in your face answers but usually, about 95% of the time, its quiet and its quick. Just try it! Open your mind right now, clear all the junk out, ask Him to speak to you and then ask Him what He loves about you. He probably already told you before you even said it out loud. It is that quick!`
I would say that 90% of the time that we aren’t hearing anything is our sign to check our mind/ heart. Or to check what types of things we are asking for. Or to check what our relationship with Him looks like when we don’t need something. God is not a genie. And ultimately He is only going to answer prayers that will be for our good and allow us to walk more into who He has called us to be. But listen, I get it! You’ve spent so much of your life feeling unheard or unseen and searching for ways to feel valued or important. It’s hard to be open and honest with ourselves and a lot easier to just remain surface level when it comes to God. However, that is NOT what He wants. He desires a relationship with YOU. ALL OF YOU! He has always seen you, always heard you, and always valued you. He LITERALLY created you so He could love you, flaws and all.
A lot of times we also pray knowing that He can do anything, but we lack the faith, therefore we are just praying to check it off the list. We have lived in this mindset of “what’s the point,” so, we do what we believe we are supposed to do and don’t really open ourselves up to more than that. When you’ve experienced pain your whole life, you kinda give up on the idea that He would answer you so you just stopped listening or expecting anything. But I’m here to tell you that God did not make those things happen to you. And I promise He didn’t want to see you hurt. In fact he HATES the evil in this world. So, why doesn’t He change it? Because He can’t.
When He created this world He gave us dominion. He gave us free will and made it to where the way He can move into our situations is by prayer and giving that control back to Him. But giving up that control is SO scary for us. And because of this, we don’t always give God the ability to move into the situations. We pray for Him to do something and then if He doesn’t right away, we take matters into our own hands. And at that point, He can’t really do anything. This is why the Bible is so crucial. Not only does it let us know who He is, it also gives us boundaries to put in place in our life to protect us. A lot of the answers we are crying out for are right there for us in red ink. A lot of the things we are crying out for, they cried out for way back in Jesus’ time, too. I mean Jesus Himself even cried out in His pain and trials. Sometimes bad things happen to fulfill our calling. Look at Jesus. Look at what he endured to fulfill His calling. And unfortunately, as we’ve learned by now, we are all broken people living in a broken world full of wounds and most of us are living in protection mode, not giving God the ability to change our situations.
Maybe you have endured some really hard things in your life and right now you’re thinking, “I was a child! I didn’t know to do those things and what they did to me was so wrong.” And my heart cries out for you! You shouldn’t have had to go through that. I am SO sorry that you went through that. And I want to help you heal from it. I know it’s easy to blame God because you are angry. But He was there, crying with you. He knew when sin entered the world that He wouldn’t be able to save it, which is why He created the promise of Heaven. He longs for you. He longs to protect you. He longs to see you living in peace. I know in those moments it didn’t make sense. But you now have such an amazing gift! You overcame some of the hardest trials that so many don’t have to experience and now you have the opportunity to help others. It may take some healing, which I believe is why you are here. But YOU ARE AN OVERCOMER! And you can help others do the same thing with your testimony! God is a big God, He can handle you being angry with Him. But staying angry with God is only going to make the weight of this world even heavier. The longer you stay angry, the longer it will take you to experience His love and peace. The longer it will take you to feel heard or to heal.
I know this was a lot. I know there is still so much that you need to process and work through. But I want to remind you that you were meant to do great things through God. You ARE heard, He ISlistening. I want to encourage you to put down your fists and lift up your hands! When you do that, and you allow yourself to walk in vulnerability with open ears and eyes, you WILL hear from God. And when you continue to walk with Him, and you continue to walk into healing and out of protection mode, not only will it be easier to hear Him but you will actually start FEELING Him. And the peace that comes with that is indescribable.
So, I guess in a way, this message wasn’t super random. Last week we talked about lowering your guard with people and today we talked about lowering it with God. Next week we will go into the next step as you walk into your healing journey, but I hope this week’s message leaves you feeling inspired and encouraged to find some extra peace in your relationship with others as well as with God. I pray you are able to connect with Him and open yourself up in a deeper way! And as always, if you need a friend or a virtual hug, I’m a message away!!
