Welcome back!
You want to heal and grow but are struggling when it comes to finding truth, right? Even if you said no right now, I promise you will say yes at some point in your healing journey! So this week I want to go over what to do when you find yourself triggered and believing those lies from your past or from the enemy!
Something most of us love to do when trying to grow or heal is to listen to all the podcasts, make all the phone calls seeking advice or wanting to vent, and/or listen to all the encouraging messages we can find! We might follow different influencers or maybe even just start putting together all the game plans on how to make the changes. But even after all that, we still struggle with our thoughts. But why?
Because we are missing the ONLY thing that will produce actual change in our belief system (aka our heart). And what is that? EXPERIENCES!
Our limbic system is a tricky one. We can be aware of how it works, know when it is lying to us, or even resist it and try to do the opposite of what it is telling us to do. And all of these things may result in change in our behavior, but it doesn’t produce change in our beliefs about ourselves or others. The reason for this is because it is mandatory that we allow ourselves to be put into situations that feel familiar, even though we assume they will lead to more pain like they have in the past. Will they produce pain? Sometimes. But could you also experience something different than that pain you were expecting? YES!
By experiencing a different outcome, we can begin rewiring our limbic system. Once we can walk into a situation that put fear into us in the past, but now we no longer feel that fear, our limbic system will then no longer feel like it needs to protect us in that area! Now obviously there is a more scientific way of explaining how this happens, so if you need that science lesson I can help you find it! But to keep this easier to read, we are going to stick with the simplified explanation. Haha
THIS is how we are able to “connect our head to our heart” as one of my Pastors puts it. We can know something all day long but it doesn’t mean we believe it! But if we can allow ourselves to walk into hard situations and experience less painful outcomes, we can start believing the truth!
And trust me, I get it! This is not easy to do! We are wired to protect ourselves so even if we tell ourselves we will walk into those experiences, we will still feel resistance. And regarding the last message where we went over knowing when we are spiraling to a relapse, the further we let ourselves spiral, the harder it is going to be to walk into these experiences! Every message leading up to this point has been about awareness and knowing how to navigate it. They have been about understanding ourselves better and gaining that control back over our reactions. And this is super important before stepping into those super vulnerable situations, so if you haven’t been following along, I recommend going back before continuing. Putting yourself in those vulnerable situations without the awareness of yourself and understanding others, can deepen those wounds and unhealthy beliefs!
So maybe you’re thinking, “Ok Jerrica, this all makes sense but I don’t think I could put myself out there like that again. How do I do that?”
This is a good question, but not one that I can completely answer for you. This will look different for everyone. But I CAN give you tips!
- Make sure you have checked out season 1 of this blog and have a solid understanding of what a healthy relationship or communication looks like! Putting yourself in vulnerable situations with the same unhealthy people will almost always result in the same outcomes. When we talk about putting yourself out there, we are talking about those situations that feel unfamiliar and uncomfortable.
- Understand your why and focus on it. When we want to lose weight, we shouldn’t be looking at our current version of ourselves and tear it down and wish we looked better, right? We want to put up images of encouragement that remind us of our goal. Same is true here. If you focus on your fear and the pain you’re feeling, it will keep you stuck there. But when you focus on what you want out of life, that is when you build the courage to go after it! Do you want peace? Joy? How you word this also matters. Instead of saying “I want to feel less stress”, you might say “I want to be able to enjoy myself more.” Instead of saying “I need more money” you might say, “I want to travel more!”. It’s not about what you want to get rid of, it’s about where you want to go!
- Make sure you have your accountability and game plan in place. Make sure you know your yellow flags as well as your red flags. Keep those thoughts in check OFTEN.
- And finally, walk hand in hand with Jesus. This sounds cliche right? So, let’s break it down a little. When you can understand the purpose of pain while also believing that God will protect you and has a plan and purpose for you, you can walk into the unknown with confidence. It may still feel scary, but it’s a different type of scary when you have that belief that you aren’t alone. This honestly may be the hardest for some of us. So before walking into that vulnerable experience, spend some time with God. But this will ONLY work if you are at a place where you aren’t blocking out His voice. He is ALWAYS talking to you. ALWAYS. WE are the ones who block Him out when we are focused on our problems. God is a God of solution and guidance. He is like that friend you call when you’re looking for help to get out of a hard situation and you know will tell you the truth. We all have that friend right? But what do we do when we don’t want to hear truth? We avoid those friends and conversations. Same things happens with God. We say we want to hear from God, but do we? Are we open to hearing something we don’t want to hear? Do we want a solution or to just to be angry? It is simple. If you want to hear from God, you have to open yourself up to guidance and correction as well.
I don’t know what your vulnerable situations look like, but I do know that if you include those tips I just mentioned, you CAN walk into it and find peace, regardless of the outcome! I am not saying you’ll find happiness at the end of these experiences, but when you walk into them with awareness and an understanding of truth, it allows you to see those situations for what they really are, instead of how they felt growing up. I also am not saying to walk into harmful situations. What I am saying is if someone you trusted hurt you as a child, this doesn’t mean everyone will hurt you. So maybe your vulnerable situation is to allow yourself to trust someone. Maybe it isn’t the same person who hurt you, but just someone else in your life that you want to trust but have been afraid to.
For me, an example of this is this blog/ podcast! This is one of the most vulnerable things I’ve ever done! This fear/ lie is constantly over me that says “no-one is going to take you serious” or “who do you think you are?” Or “no-one is going to listen.” But I understand what I heard from God, and I know that as long as I follow Him and allow His correction and guidance in my life, He will make sure it reaches those who it was intended for. So I do it scared! And because my reason for walking into this vulnerable situation is about Him and not about me, it allows a really amazing peace into my thoughts. It doesn’t matter who I am, it only matters who HE is, which means that all I have to do is make sure I am open to his voice and He will do the rest! This type of peace is something I pray you will allow into your heart! For more examples I recommend listening to the podcast version of this episode! You can find it below!
If you have any questions or need additional help in this area, don’t hesitate to reach out to me! Find me on my Instagram (instagram.com/the.reflections.collection) or my Facebook (Jerrica Snyder)! Also a few announcements:
- We also offer a safe space zoom every monday night at 8:30pm cst if you’d like some extra encouragement!
- The new Planner that lines us with this podcast is available for pre order!! You can find that here on the website!
- And there are a lot of changes coming to reflections after the first of the year! Stay tuned!! Following me on my socials is a good idea so you don’t miss anything!
I hope you have the best week ever and we will see you next time!